Victim Vs Villain

What robs us (men) of our original intent and context? What makes us seemingly become either cold or clammy or melancholy? Why, in this Christian world of Jesus, David, and Job, do we find so many either extremely timid men or over macho ones? I suppose it's a question that many don't really bother with or realize that they ask themselves every morning and every night, that it plagues them like boils, just underneath the skin.

We arbitrarily come to such a road unknowingly, either guided there by our own misery or by others who see it fit to grow us and lead us in only certain ways. Let's not be coy and let's not be cowards, but it seems rare that a man is grown and defined and refined by the age of 30. Now, this does not mean that he should give up or walk out on such a role.

Well, it seems that man himself can find his role leaning towards victim or villain quite easily. You are either the passive, quiet, "ok, whatever is good with you" kind of person, or you can be the "my way or the highway", super- *and most of the times overly so* decisive one, the gung ho lieutenant whose skills lack way behind his charge into battle. Neither are right. Neither can be the way we were truly meant to be. One is a dick, the other is a powder puff. How can I speak so lowly of either of these positions?

For one, I have been, to an extent, both of them leaning to the right or to the left, whichever way would find me the most attractive to the crowd presented before me. I'll be honest, it will wear a kid out. To not properly assume the right role for the right reasons, being who you were created to be. It will almost kill you, like you are swimming against the rapids, but you are no salmon, and you are tied down. How far can we make it before we start breathing water?

This will destroy you. These obsessions, these longings to be this way or that way so that person X will find me attractive or group X will be lead by me or see me as good and giving and great and as a leader. Take heart, take a chance, take some time to sort yourself out. Don't be the Zodiac, and don't be the homeless man with a 1000 excuses. All wrong motives and they lead nowhere, just circles. Always circles. The world is full of circles.

I hear men yelling at each other outside. It's like the whole world is mad. I think we might all explode soon. Good.