The Greatest Lie Ever Told

(In memory of Kenny and all his douchebaggery *single tear)

"dudes you'll never believe what happened to me. OMG I'm so sorry I'm late. So yesterday I'm driving in my roadster and the top is down and as I go under a bridge a guy that was trying to commit suicide jumped off the bridge, landed in my car and pulled a gun on me. He began demanding I drive him North, but just then my tires blows out. He told me to keep driving, even on the flat tire. In fact, he leaned over the side and shoe the other three tires out just out of spite. There I was driving on rims... heading north... farther and farther from the chapel. The rims on the pavement creates sparks and we hit loose oil from a spill. All four lanes of traffic go up in flames and we are spinning out of control with no wheels and fire all around us. Just then the circus comes into town. And we walked to said town? And he stole the tiny clown car and said I must accompany him on his trip until he no longer needs me. I knew too much now. He made me swear a blood oath and I said, 'Hey man, I gotta wedding in like 2 hours!' And he said, 'This. Is. A. Blood. Oath.' So we were brothers now. And as we drove our tiny clown car into the horizon our adventure had just began. He turned to me, 'you say you have to be at a wedding? I was suppose to be the photographer at one today.. til I broke my camera. My wife said if I lost one more job there was no point in coming home tonight. That's why I jumped off the bridge.'" *Meanwhile back at the chapel the best man and the wedding photographer are MIA.*

"Now this is the point where things get fuzzy. Our clown car ran a stoplight and plowed into a snowplow. But there wasn't any snow on the ground. And we both dragged one another from the flaming clown car. Just then a helicopter lands. The entire time I kept saying, 'Must. get. to that wedding. They're relying on me'... I would have called by my phone was swallowed by the bearded lad while back at the circus during a new routine she was was trying... The helicopter lands and it's the bearded lady. She told me I had a few missed calls. So I told her thank you and she got in the helicopter and flew off. The man with the gun and I were hiding in the woods eating squirrels and other varmints to survive. We had no compass; only the gun and the spare tire. And I had to get to the wedding but..."

(and this is one of the many reasons why i like this girl.)