simple questions, undefined answers. that's the tricky part of the future, of tomorrow, what it'll bring, what the end of the day will bring, the hurt, the healing, the love, the loss, everything. But sometimes the hardest thing to do at the moment, the parts that makes your guts scream and your bones ache, are the best things at the moment to make sure that tomorrow will be better for everyone. It's not an easy call, at all, it's actually frightening beyond belief, but if you care for something or someone and know that it's the best solution for the time being, then you do what you have to do. I suppose that's called love. I think so.
life is simple. or appears to be. simple things. marriage. family. kids. love. kisses. holding hands. enjoying people. friendships. but life is not always simple, and i hate that. things get messy, get mucked up, shift to gray, like the rain outside today, slowly falling mist, like a moving fog. it's cold here, colder than it feels, but that's okay, when you put ice to a wound it reduces swelling makes the pain go away, when you put heat on it, it heals. so everything in due time.
i could not imagine how happy i've been the past several months, and how crazy it all was, like magic, some old old magic not found anywhere anymore. hidden under rocks, or high atop trees we haven't climbed since we were kids, before we knew what scars were. it was simple, and it was good. life is about taking that chance, risking everything just because you know if you don't you will look back on your life and wonder the could have been's and what ifs. i told someone near and dear to me yesterday that there are multiverses, or, rather, a multiverse theory, where every possible scenario to life plays itself out in a million different universes. and that brings comfort to those of us who have been hurt, who are healing, who just wonder "what if?". and it is okay to wonder, and it is okay to be happy, and everything is okay always. because the point of life is to not have it all figured out; the point of life is living and trying your best to love. and if you are lucky, then maybe that love will find you, too.
but then again, i don't believe in luck. i believe it's coming, and it will take the oddest forms and will be something we could have never imagined. it will be like magic. it will be like it was before scars. it will be... simple. and yes there will be work involved, if we think anything good in life was easy, then what would make it good? but the risk is always worth the effort. and i'll always believe that.
i hope this letter finds you,
and finds you well.
we WILL talk sooner rather than later. i promise you that. you are in my thoughts, and my prayers, and in my heart. and things heal when you put heat to them. so why not utterly be changed to fire?
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